We all have a million things on our to-do-list, especially during the holidays. Without boundaries, and being clear on your priorities this long list can leave you stressed out and overwhelmed. Here are three reasons why you should learn to pick your battles.

Reason #1: Picking Your Battles Helps You Manage Your Energy Levels

There are limits on how much energy we can expend in a 24 hour period and when everything feels urgent, demanding all your time and attention, it gets used up quickly. All too soon you are running on fumes as your reserves become depleted just to get one more item crossed off your to-do-list.

Dishes, housecleaning, laundry, decorating for Christmas, gift buying, holiday parties, and gift wrapping, need I say more? We feel the need to stay up until way too late trying to get it all done. What’s more important at this point? All the laundry folded, every speck of dust gone, or getting a good nights sleep?

When the cleaning, organizing, or decluttering bug strikes, and I feel ambitious enough to get more than the basics done, I usually will go for it. However, more times than not, I take on more than I can handle in a day or stay up too late, and I suffer for it later.

I’m slowly learning:

• That losing sleep over getting one more thing done is rarely worth the hit my energy levels take the following day.
• To pick items from that list that are achievable and doable in the time I have available.

Reason #2: Learning To Pick your Battles Helps You Become a Better Stress Manager

There is all this great advice of, “you need to reduce your stress.” Yeah, well I know, but how? It’s rare that you get actionable advice on how to go about doing that.

I’m learning that through the simple act of thoughtfully picking my battles, I can become a better manager of my stress, which has the potential to pay big dividends on my overall health.

I’m not much of a baker, I would love to be but I don’t have the time and rarely the patience. At Christmas however, that changes. It’s during this time of year that I dream of grandiose plans to make all sorts of treats. But, in the end, I would find myself stressed out as I ran out of time to make it all.

Thankfully over time I have figured out a few things:

1. Buying all the ingredients needed, did not fit into my budget.
2. Even with sharing the goodies, there was a lot left, and I would end up throwing away quite a bit.
3. What always ended up always disappearing first was just a few favorite recipes.
4. I began to kick myself for creating all that unnecessary work.

One year, to help reduce my to-do-list during the holidays, I stopped making so many things. In fact, I only made two, Fancy Fudge Balls and Chocolate Oatmeal Bars. These two were the easiest to throw together and the ones that my family and I enjoyed the most. The experiment was a success, and I learned a lot from it.

First, I wasn’t up until the wee hours of the morning trying to finish all my baking.

Second, that simple decision made such a difference in how I enjoyed Christmas that year; it changed my baking plans from then on. It reduced the strain on my Christmas and grocery budget, reduced the amount of work I felt I needed to put in the week before Christmas, and most importantly it helped my waistline!! 🙂

Reason #3: Picking Your Battles Helps You Get clearer on What is Truly Important

I’ve written about the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, and what I’ve learned from it here. It’s a book that I have decided I need to read or listen to a couple of times a year.

The book teaches how to create filters to run decisions through to help you get clear on what you will say yes to and maybe even more importantly, what you will say no too. The author reminds us that when say yes to one thing, you automatically are saying no to something else.

These filters create limits on your available time and energy and force you to pay attention to the opportunities that come your way. It gives you the tools needed to weigh the costs, both good and bad, on your time, energy, and mental health.

What has become essential for me over the last few years is to take most Monday’s off from work as I am often traveling. It became an issue for me both mentally and physically to get home and somehow try and squeeze in a few hours of work before and after my road trip. Trying to fit it all in on those long days caused anxiety and high levels of stress that would wipe me out.

Monday’s are now for getting caught up on household chores, working on my business, and take intentional time to rest. This change in my schedule has had quite the dramatic effect on me. Getting home feels a lot less frantic and stressful, and as a bonus, it has allowed me to create dedicated blocks of time to work on the goals and projects that are important to me. As a result, preserving my Monday’s is a battle I pick weekly.

These are just a few of the benefits of learning to pick your battles.

When you exercise your choice of which battle to pick, there is often a feeling of freedom and relief. You soon realize that there are decisions you can just let go of so you can focus on what is essential and lines up with your priorities and values.

Next Step: Set Aside Time To Reflect and Review

Once you have picked your battles, it’s important to take the time to review your decisions on a regular basis. Personally, I like to conduct quarterly reviews. It’s a block of time you can use to look at what is working, what isn’t and what needs to change. It’s a chance to adjust or change your goals if needed. It’s also a time to recognize how far you’ve come and celebrate your successes. You can read more about that process here.

Picking your battles is part of living an intentional, purposeful life. It teaches you to be proactive instead of reactive. I know these are all overused words in our modern vocabulary, but that is not an excuse to dismiss them.

Picking your battles takes a different way of thinking, of being more deliberate in what you say yes to, what you spend your time focusing on, and what you are willing to spend your energy on.

Taking the extra time needed to decide if this is the right priority, project, or battle to take on right now is well worth it.

Are there any areas of your life you where need to learn how to pick your battles?

Marta Goertzen

Marta Goertzen is an entrepreneur, writer and nature photographer. She daily explores the trails and beaches of the South Central Oregon Coast with her buddy Bailey. You can follow along on their adventures on Instagram. She is also the author of several books including her newest, “Choosing Gratitude: A Daily Quiet Time Journal”.

https://selahreflections.com

Recently I had the opportunity to attend a business and blogging conference, and it ended up being one of the best conferences I’ve attended. It was challenging in so many ways and one of many takeaways and aha moments was a realization of how much I’ve been running my business (and in many ways my life too) from a place of fear.

Not exactly a lesson I was expecting to go home with. But, I’m glad I did. I’ve been taking a closer look at what to do when a healthy dose of fear turns unhealthy.

Healthy Fear

Not all fear is bad.

Fight or flight is good is a good example. When someone suddenly slams the breaks in front of you, and you throw your arm over your child in the seat next to you. That fear of danger, that urge to protect is instinctual.

If you have ever stood at the door of an airplane getting ready to skydive and your fear takes over saying, “Uhm no!” In my opinion, there is NOTHING wrong with that. I’m of the belief that God made airplanes for riding in and not jumping out of :).

Zig Ziglar has said:

“There is such a thing as “healthy fear.” For example, it’s very healthy to fear drinking before you drive. However, fear should not be allowed to run rampant through our lives so that it becomes such a devastating factor that it produces failure. The problem is not getting rid of fear, but using it properly.” (Link)

Unhealthy Fear

But what happens when fear takes over and becomes a normal way of living? We can get so used to living in a state of fear it becomes the norm, and our awareness of it changes.

When fear dominates our lives, it can become crippling and create a decision-making process based on fear of what could or might happen.

So what do we do?

Take action.

Any action. Big. Small. Or somewhere in between. Taking the next step in your journey is what matters most. That step leads to another, and another, and soon we are again going after a goal instead of feeling trapped and paralyzed.

3 Steps to Help You Take That Next Step:

1) Revisit Your Why.

Why are you chasing that goal or that dream? Your why has to be big enough, and motivation enough to help pull you through the moments of fear. If it’s not, you won’t find the motivation needed to keep moving forward.

2) Find An Accountability Partner.

There is nothing quite like having to tell someone you did or did not do what you said you were going to do. Having an exercise buddy means you have someone waiting for you that you do not want to disappoint.

Last summer I published a book for the web design end of my business, and I got it done because I had someone that I was accountable to weekly. It ended up being a huge piece of the puzzle for me to get the book done and published.

After this conference, a friend and I decided to send each other weekly updates on what we learned during the week and what our goals are for the next. Already we see progress, and it is a wonderful feeling.

3) Get Comfortable With Doing It Scared.

This concept was another lesson I learned at that conference. Taking action can dispell fear. Continued action cultivates courage and confidence.

Tackling a project or heading in a new direction while afraid, is not comfortable. In fact, it’s usually so much easier to turn around and walk the other way.

It’s worth remembering that anything worth doing is going to stir up fear on some level and it’s worth taking that first or next step and do it scared.

Where is fear stopping you today?
What one action step can you take to gain momentum?

Recommended Resource:

The Next Right Thing Podcast – I’ve enjoyed this podcast so much! Emily’s gentle voice and wisdom helps the listener take a look at fear, decision-making, and creativity in a new way. Here is the podcast description – it describes it perfectly:

“Out of the thousands of decisions you make everyday, chances are a few of them threaten to keep you up at night. If you’re in a season of transition, waiting, general fogginess or if you’ve ever searched “how to make a decision” on the internet, listen in as best-selling author and host Emily P. Freeman helps create a little space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing in love.”

Marta Goertzen

Marta Goertzen is an entrepreneur, writer and nature photographer. She daily explores the trails and beaches of the South Central Oregon Coast with her buddy Bailey. You can follow along on their adventures on Instagram. She is also the author of several books including her newest, “Choosing Gratitude: A Daily Quiet Time Journal”.

https://selahreflections.com